Reality Bites

Wow. 18 months old. Oliver has done so much, so quickly. I am so proud of him. He is walking at least 10 miles a day now, or at least it seems that way. It's thrilling to see him do some things so well, but then reality sets in. And it bites.

Oliver saw his eye doctor today for his followup. One of his therapist had noticed, and so had we, that he looks out of the sides of his eyes quite often. We all thought it was just a cute little face he makes. It turns out he has "significant deficits in his visual field" caused from the bleeding in his brain.  His central vision is fine, just slightly farsighted, but his peripheral vision is not. It was recommended that we contact the School for the Deaf and Blind because they have some programs that can help with his side vision. I asked, of course, how this would affect him and was told he would have trouble learning to walk, but of course that hasn't stopped him there. He will probably be clumsier than other kids and he'll need classroom accommodations for vision. On a good note, Dr. White (eye doc) said he has definitely found his own way to deal with and cope with the deficits in his vision, that's why he turns his head and looks to the side a lot.

I know, I know, I know. This is NOT that bad. Things could have been much worse. However, I am his mama. Each difficulty he has crushes me. When I see him laugh, walk, smile it is easy to forget he has a significant brain injury. When I am reminded of it by a new obstacle I am heartbroken for him.

Can we try this again? I am a horrible, no good, very bad, blogging mama. Can I even call myself a blogging mama if I have yet to blog? 

With that being said, Oliver is now 15 months old. Are you kitten me right meow??? 15 months old?!? There is so much I should have blogged in the last 15 months, but I'll just face the fact that I didn't. I don't know what my reason was. I know there are many moments I will forget because I didn't write them down, but part of me just didn't want to. I shared so much on Caring Bridge when Oliver was in the NICU, that I just wanted him to myself. Yes, I shared way too many pictures on Facebook, but didn't talk much about his health, development, etc. I just wanted to soak up all the little boy I could. However I have now been inspired by blogs such as Love that Max and Life with Jack that I read, love, relate to and now wish to emulate. Both of these blogs follow sweet, wonderful, amazing, miraculous little boys with CP (cerebral palsy). When I see their smiling faces and see their little hands balled in fist or thumbs tucked in I see my boy. No, we have NOT received a diagnosis of CP. The only diagnosis we have ever received is hemiparesis of the left side which was given by his neurologist. There is a lot to catch everyone up on and I will do so in time. 

Here's my moment with Oliver today....

While sitting on the couch watching me dry my hair, Oliver inched his way closer and closer until he was finally snuggled up to me, resting. Ah what a sweet moment.

Here We Go Again

Back to blogland. I tried to just use Dear Huckababy as our new family/Oliver blog, but it just made me too sad. I also just felt like I couldn't add to Caring Bridge anymore. It was very therapeutic while Oliver was in the NICU, but I haven't been able to go back to it since. I will do my very best to keep this updated with Oliver's progress and adventures, along with the rest of the Huckafamily! :)

Brandi